Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
