Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
