...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
