"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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