you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
