How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
