i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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