Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
