Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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