Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Randomize
