he wants to bone in the snuggie
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
