who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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