i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize