Well douche your snatch and let's go!
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
