You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
