having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
