Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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