i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Randomize
