Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
