I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize