she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
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