Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize