I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
