ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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