sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
God, I missed his penis.
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