youre lurking in front of me
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize