you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
you win again, gameday.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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