I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize