Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
