AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize