yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
