I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Please don't give away my fajitas
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
