Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
