I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Randomize
