We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
