The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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