Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
