I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Randomize
