you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize