You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
My balls are so social today.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize