Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
nutella sex= disaster
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
True strength comes from lack of pants
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
