maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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