just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize