After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
