After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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