Princesses don't give blow jobs
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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