Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize