So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize