You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
