I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
