i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
