You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
