I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
