i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
everyone is single if you try hard enough
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
