I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
