just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
