just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
