I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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